How Doctors Should Hold Meetings

How productive was your last meeting at the hospital or with your physician group?

I bet you it was a waste of your time.

And it likely dragged on for hours.

With nothing accomplished.

Just more useless rules to follow ( need to provide jobs to the hospital's executive secretaries after all).

At the end you feel like you'd rather crank out another 50 patients in the clinic or the ER, or be on call. Isn't that sad?

Several years back I was part of a democratic emergency medicine group and every month they had a 5 hour meeting to discuss the group practice.

We all had to attend monthly hospital subcommittee meetings also.

Boy were these painful. Just give me 3 mg of Dilaudid IM STAT and put me out of my misery.

Some hospital admin person would show us how long each physician was taking to disposition the patient from the moment the patient arrived in the ER to the moment the patient was either admitted or discharged.

"Dr. Mazumdar, 2 months ago you had the shortest time to dispo the patient out of all the docs in the group, but why did you fall to the middle of the pack last month?"

That was an actual question I received during one of the marathon meetings.

My reaction: "Gee, could it possibly be that I saw sicker patients on average last month than I did the month before? Maybe you should get out of your air conditioned office and drop your lunch hour to 60 minutes rather than 120 minutes and get your butt down here and help us out."

Of course the next month I was at the top of the pack and had the shortest wait times and shortest time to dispo.

So in the end what did that loser hospital administrator's question accomplish?


So here's how I propose you should hold hospital committee meetings and medical practice group meetings to make them productive and short:

1. Require everyone attending the meeting to drink 500 ml of water 1 hour prior to the meeting start time.

2. Remove all chairs and all tables from the room.

3. No food or drinks will be served.

4. No pens, pencils, or papers

5. Everyone must stand during the meeting

6. If it's winter, turn on the air conditioning and everyone wears shorts and a T shirt. If it's summer, turn on the heating and everyone must wear thermal underwear, a heavy coat, ear muffs, and a scarf.

Now do you think you'll get down to business?

You bet!

Your meetings will be the most productive and fastest ever. You will get more accomplished in one meeting than you did over the past 5 years of meetings.

No one will waste time.

And if someone attempts to, then the "bladder timer" will automatically kick in by the 20th minute and you will force that person to drink 1 liter of water before coming back into the room.

Or you could be like me and get your financial life in order so that eventually you don't have to attend these useless meetings ever again...and you can pee whenever you want.

If that interests you, then get started by clicking here:
Gotta run to the bathroom. Talk to you again soon.
Talk to you again soon.